


Both Blinded

by DarkAngelGirl13



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Matthew Casey, Canon Related, Canon Rewrite, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love, M/M, Making Love, Making Up, Married Characters, Married Couple, Married Life, Married Sex, Not Canon Compliant, Rewrite, Season/Series 03, Top Kelly Severide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:55:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29378130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAngelGirl13/pseuds/DarkAngelGirl13
Summary: Matt and Kelly make up after words got said and blame placed from the past that has nothing really to do with now, but didn't mean it didn't hurt like a knife.
Relationships: Matthew Casey & Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Both Blinded

**Author's Note:**

> I OWN NOTHING
> 
> AN: I got this idea after watching the last two episodes of season 3. I am sorry I love Sevacey so much, but that was a low blow when Matt came at Kelly with Andy's death. I had to write this out and hope it was some justice done in repairing the damage that was so done with those words. I'd been happy when at first Matt stood up for Kelly and defended him. I still think on some level he was hurt too and went for lashing out in the worst way. Anyways on with the story.

Matt regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He didn't even know why he'd brought Andy up. It had been bad after he'd been killed in the fire soon to be four years ago. Yet, like an idiot he'd been ticked off about the lines being drawn between truck and squad so he'd gone for the lowest blow possible. He'd said the words he swore he'd never do since it had about torn his marriage with Kelly apart the first time. Hell, Kelly had moved out in with Shay they had been going at it so badly back then. They had sworn once they got things fixed they'd never bring it home again. 

What happened at the firehouse stayed there unless it was something special. This wasn't special at all it was them being divided instead of being a family. In a way he'd just picked his side even though he'd done his best not to. He'd stood up for Kelly with Ottis and Cruz. He'd thought he handled it, but he should have known that both Kelly and Ottis were dogs with bones. They wouldn't stop until one came out and last night they'd about gotten into a fight. Matt didn't know how he was going to fix it. Kelly had looked at him as if he'd stabbed him in the back. He didn't know Rice that well and he tried being nice with him. He just hadn't connected with the man the way Kelly did. They were friends, but Matt wasn't jealous, at least he didn't think he was. Then again, maybe he was, but he shouldn't have used it as a weapon.

Right now he needed to fix the mistake he'd caused when he'd put the blame of Andy's death on Kelly. He'd picked the worst fight possible with the man he loved. He felt horrible already because of how it was affecting them at home. Then he went and put his foot in his mouth even more. He'd tried staying out of it, but he'd been put in the spot so he'd thought he handled it. Well for once, okay more than once, he'd done a terrible job because he didn't know how to be forgiven for saying Kelly caused Andy's death. 

He'd been the one blamed years back for sending Andy through the window. He'd took the crap from Kelly knowing he needed somewhere to vent his rage. He just hadn't thought back then that it would get to the breaking point they'd have a shouting match so bad he'd tell Kelly to get out. He still remembered the words he'd said that night. 'Fine, you want to keep blaming me you can, but get the hell out of my life. I'm sick and tired of looking at you knowing you hate me that much.' He hadn't even let Kelly say anything to object he'd shoved him out the door. His husband had been in shock he was sure, but he'd been the one that slammed the door in his face. He had finally hit the breaking point even though he'd loved Kelly so much he hadn't been able to take the hate anymore. 

It had taken a while to repair that even with Shay's help. Even after Kelly had come back home, they still had to work hard on repairing the damage. He'd gone to Shay's and gotten his husband because he couldn't take being without him. He'd begged him to come home, begged forgiveness because he'd been the idiot not realizing how much Kelly really had been blaming his own self and lashed out instead of letting him see how badly he was hurt and broken hearted over Andy. Shay had been the one that gave him the wake up call. He could hear her now if she was here oh she would have his dick for this one. She had promised to cut it off last time and use it to shove down his throat until it came out his ass. She'd promised to put her boot up his ass so far not even a surgion could find it. 

Matt had tried at the fire house to get Kelly to talk to him so he could apologize. Kelly had walked away even before he'd gotten to him. He hadn't blamed him, he could still see the hurt and sadness in his love's eyes. Kelly was heartbroken from the words he'd said and it was no one's fault but his own. Matt sighed looking at the couch where Kelly had sent his self to sleep. No, he'd sentenced him there with his big mouth and cruel words. He felt his own heart breaking even if he didn't deserve to feel that way. His was breaking because Kelly was in pain and it was his fault, not Kelly's. 

"NO, Matt, get out, go back." Kelly yelled from the couch which got Matt moving from where he was at. He knew when his husband was having a nightmare. "MATT, NO, NO, NO. MATT... Please no, I'm sorry. Matt, please. I'm sorry." Kelly's voice breaking as he kept saying either Matt's name or he was sorry. 

"KELLY, wake up." Matt knew it wasn't wise to wake anyone up in a nightmare, but he didn't care right now. 

He hadn't seen Kelly have this bad of a nightmare since Andy. They hadn't been this bad after Shay. This one was bad because he was crying and screaming for him. Kelly had dreamed so many times it had been him that had died instead of Andy. Matt still remembered waking up to the phone ringing and Kelly screaming on the other end because Shay couldn't convince him that he wasn't dead after he'd moved out. It was the night they had repaired their marriage. Kelly had been convinced that he had died instead of Andy and it had taken hours after he'd gotten there to make him see he wasn't a ghost. 

Matt shook Kelly until he opened his eyes after screaming once more for him. The terror in Kelly's eyes made him realize what he'd been dreaming. He was about to say something, but all at once he was being hugged so tight he couldn't breathe at first. He wrapped his arms around Kelly hugging him back. Matt shut his eyes so tight hearing the sob Kelly let out. He felt his own tears fall because he'd hurt Kelly that badly with his words.

"I'm alive and I'm sorry doesn't even cover how horrible I was to you." Matt said after they'd sat there for who knew how long just holding each other. "I never blamed you for Andy dying, not even now when I said those words." He wasn't even looking to be forgiven, he just wanted Kelly not to feel like he had in those moments in his nightmare.

Kelly kept holding onto Matt forcing his self to keep his mind from going back to the nightmare where Matt had died. He had smelt the burning flesh. He'd seen Matt burn right in front of him unable to reach him. It had been like a glass wall between them where he couldn't break to get to him. Then it had been Matt's grave in front of him and he'd lost it until he'd felt Matt's arms around him. Even when he'd grabbed Matt he hadn't known it was him because in the dream he'd been holding Matt's dead body til it fell apart. He'd killed Matt in the dream because he didn't vent. It wasn't like he hadn't done it before, but it had never been part of his job since Matt always had truck vent, but he didn't care right now. 

"I'm sorry I didn't vent. I should have. It doesn't matter if it's not my job I should have vented. He'd still be here, you wouldn't still hate me." Kelly said burying his face against Matt's chest. "I got him killed, I killed our best friend." 

Like ice going into his veins Matt felt like he stopped breathing for a moment. He didn't want to pull back, but he had to look at Kelly. He took hold of his chin tilting it up until their eyes of different shades of blue met. He had to get Kelly to understand what he was thinking was wrong. 

"Kel, baby. I love you, I never have hated you, not one damn time in our lives. I never hated you after Andy died. I'm sorry for what I said yesterday morning. I should never had said what I did. Andy wasn't either of our faults. It was an accident one that we'll never be able to understand why it happened. What I understand right now is that I picked the lowest moment to throw in your face. What I did was wrong and I hated myself the second those words came out. I got jealous and I lashed out in the worst way possible." Matt explained because he realized he was jealous of the friendship that Kelly had with Rice. It was stupid, but how they'd been so close since Rice got to the firehouse had driven a wedge between them too. 

"I'd never cheat on you. I'd never hurt you like that. Rice's is straight and still getting over his wife's death." Kelly said. 

"No, I know you wouldn't cheat on me. You've been spending more time with him than me and I guess it got to me. This stuff at the firehouse added more and I tried defending you. I told them to back off and it was their own fault you chewed them out like you did." Matt sighed knowing he was being selfish.

"You've been working at Stilettoes so much. I'd come home to an empty apartment instead of you being here or coming home with me. I've missed you and then..." Kelly said not wanting to remember the words Matt said anymore. 

"I guess we're both to fault on us feeling like we've abandoned each other." Matt said with a sigh moving so he was straddling Kelly's lap. "I'm sorry for the after shift things I said too." 

"I'm just glad you didn't sit at the table, it would have hurt even more." Kelly sighed breathing in Matt's scent. "I did do one thing you shouted at me. I checked his story, Rice lied to me. He never took it in. He's been lying to me this whole time and I'm sorry I didn't put you first by checking. I should have trusted you more by not being blinded." He confessed. 

It was why he was late getting to the apartment. He should have listened to Matt. He had pieced him back together more times than he could count. He'd picked up the pieces after Rene left him, Andy and Shay's death. They might have both had moments during the Andy time they were swinging, but Matt was the one that helped in the end when he finally stopped fighting his hurt of regret. He'd been drowning his sorrows after Shay's death, Matt saved him from going into a coma from all he'd drunk. 

Of course he'd picked Matt's pieces up too, but there were more of his pieces that Matt had put back together. Andy had once told Matt that he was a jigsaw puzzle that needed to be put together. Once you did you'd get a beautiful picture, but the one on the box wasn't what you would find. It would be something like it, but so much more wonderful and unique. Kelly let his self smile at the memory because he did enjoy putting jigsaw puzzles together with Matt. He figured that he was one his self like Andy claimed. A piece here and there put together or back after it fell out. 

"How about you come back to bed right now. Then day after next you can talk to Boden. Right now, I don't want to think about work or work problems. I just want to fix what I helped break." Matt said pulling back enough to look into Kelly's eyes. "I'd love to make it up to my husband, my best friend." He added. 

Kelly gave him a smile for the first time in days and his eyes were beautiful because the smile went into them. "I guess I could let you apologize that way. I need to apologize too for being blinded." He put in letting his hands move down Matt's back so he was holding onto his ass. 

"We both apologize, but you also need to apologize for scaring me by jumping in front of that truck to stop it." Matt said leaning down placing a kiss on Kelly's arm where it met at his shoulder. He'd seen him rubbing it after what happened. It was when he'd wanted to go to him and make things right for the second time. The first being after the sit in at the squad table when Kelly left. 

"I'm sorry that I acted quick and saved the life of our firehouse family. Even if they were being jerks to me, I couldn't let them die." Kelly said knowing Matt had been worried about him. He'd seen the look in his eyes from far away. He'd wanted him then, but he'd been still hurt by his words that he hadn't given in.

There had been times when one of them hadn't been so lucky getting out in time. They'd been trapped or injured. They had found each other afterwards if possible and hugged each other. They hadn't cared who saw them, he knew that Matt had wanted to do that at the firehouse, but instead he'd walked away. He still remembered the time Matt had almost died after having roof falling on his head saving a baby. He still remembered Shay holding him while he'd fallen apart thinking the worst could happen. He hadn't left Matt's side much unless he was on shift. 

"You know even when push comes to shove and someone's at odds there we come together when it counts." Matt stated placing another kiss. This time it was over Kelly's heart. 

"Yes, that is true. Right now I don't want to think about that. I want to make up with you." Kelly said before he got up still holding onto Matt taking him to their bedroom.

~MK KM~

Matt held onto Kelly kissing him just as fiercely as he was kissing him. He could feel all of the love that Kelly had for him in the kiss. He hoped his husband could feel the love being returned. They landed on the bed breaking the kiss long enough for Kelly to get their sleep pants off before their mouths found each others again. Matt moaned feeling their cocks brushing together curling his fingers in Kelly's short hair. 

Kelly moved from Matt's mouth going down his body taking his time as he placed kisses everywhere he could get to. He got moans from Matt as he sucked and tugged at his nipples with his teeth and fingers. He put everything he had in loving Matt wanting him to know he'd forgiven him. He hated when they had disagreements, he hated not being able to turn to the one person that meant everything to him. He pushed that from his mind as he continued down Matt's body. He smiled seeing his cock leaking onto his stomach already hard as steel for him. 

Matt was sure that Kelly would skip over his cock like he did so many times. However, he was wrong calling out his love's name as Kelly swallowed him down in one taking. Kelly came up after holding Matt down his throat for a few moments. He was damn good at a blow job since he knew how to hold his breath for a while. Kelly swirled his tongue around the head of Matt's cock like he did an ice cream cone. Matt groaned curling his fingers in the sheet as Kelly devoured him tearing him apart in the best way possible. 

The orgasm hit without a warning because Matt hadn't realized he was that close. He had felt like he was on the verge, but he'd been so much closer. Kelly took every drop of him down swallowing all, but the last mouth full. That he held until he got up to Matt depositing it into his husband's mouth as they kissed. They held onto each other even after they pulled back for air locking eyes. 

"I will do my best to never break your heart again. I know I did." Matt said feeling like he had to say something even if they were in the middle of make up sex.

"I'll do my best not to forget you're the only one I can truly trust without a doubt in my mind." Kelly replied before he sealed their words with another kiss. 

~MK KM~

After their words there were only sounds in the room besides an occasional name call. Kelly moved down Matt's body opening him up with his fingers and mouth. He took Matt apart twice more before he even slid his cock into him. Matt was in a boneless state as Kelly filled him all the way in one motion. He had his legs wrapped around Kelly as they rocked together. Their eyes never leaving each other saying a thousand words with just their eyes. Matt's hands moving over Kelly's body as much as he could reach. He tried pulling him even farther into his body begging for more. 

Kelly gave Matt what he was asking for kissing anywhere he could reach when they needed air. He knew that there would be marks on Matt's body later, but he didn't care. He wasn't even pulling all the way out anymore. He rocked them at a steady pace bringing their bodies to their peak. The moment the reached it their mouths found the other's again drowning out their cries of pleasure. Their tongues battling as their bodies were sent into bliss. Kelly filling Matt with everything he had. Matt covering both their torsos with his own passion. They'd never once faked it that was for sure. 

Matt whimpered clamping down so Kelly couldn't pull free of him when he tried. "I was only going to switch positions." Kelly said, but he rolled them on their sides still firmly imbedded in Matt's body.

"Don't want you to go anywhere." Matt said snuggling into Kelly's arms letting his head rest against his shoulder feeling surrounded and knowing he was loved. He'd been forgiven knowing they had never made love when they'd been upset with the other. Oh, they'd had sex, but never anything like what just happened unless they truly were forgiven the other for what happened.

"I'll be right here, babe." Kelly promised tightening his hold on Matt feeling relief for the first time in over a week. He still felt sorrow for what he'd have to do with Rice, but with Matt, there was nothing but love there. "For the record I never have hated you either." He whispered halfway asleep. 

~THE END~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the reviews and kudos in advanced. Sorry been MIA just still recovering from surgery and been reading a lot lately.


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